Thursday, October 17, 2013

My Own Way

It's been an emotional two days. The other night I had written a blog post and my husband asked me to take it down. So I did. And because I am respecting his wishes I won't go into details, but I must tell you a little bit, because my horse was a huge part of my life, that he is no longer with us.

He got out of the fence the other day and went down the road and found himself at another horse farm. The owners of the horse farm weren't too happy about our wandering horse so they called the game warden and to make a long story short, because Micah likes to keep the peace, he found my sweet Lucky a new home.

And it broke my heart.

Yes, I know he's just an animal, and yes I know I should still be thankful for so many other things, but my horse is gone and it depresses me to no end. And with everything going on in the world, it seems so trivial, but all I can think about is Lucky.

And you know what, more than anything I'm angry. Angry that a supposed friend and neighbor would do something like this instead of just talking to us and trying to work things out.

But I know in my head that being angry won't do anything for me. It'll only take away from my life. My neighbor has already moved on and could care less that my horse is gone, my anger is only affecting me and my family.

We all deal with angry in our own way I guess. And this is how I dealt with mine: went to my son's soccer, made a pizza from scratch, and started and completed five different crochet projects and started a sixth (the last picture).

I started to write my neighbor a letter but only a steady stream of curse words came out, which seemed a little counter productive. So instead I kept myself busy so I couldn't dwell on the situation. And even though the whole thing still bothers me, I feel a little better today than I did yesterday.

And when my four year old's school called me today and said that he was projectile vomiting, it kind of put everything in perspective. Being angry at your neighbor takes a back seat to the thought of there being an issue with your child.

So I'm doing the best I can. I guess that's all anybody can do. And I'm dealing. In my own way.

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